06.16.2001

The city streets were warm tonight but chills of fear still went through me like an icy wind. The place in my heart meant for her was being occupied by doubt and self-loathing. What had I done to deserve such cool treatment from she who is now the reason I delayed my departure...

I feel like there is something going on I do not know of, and like a blind fool I fell down the well. I’m still not even sure what to feel... but that’s probably normal... this tightening in my chest that makes me wonder if... could I have been so wrong? Never...

But if she were the one... why these questions?

I am lost... utterly... completely.