02.01.2001

I had a dream I was the most beautiful angel ever created and a blind God had not torn off my wings as is written. I opened my eyes to the light of a billion stars as if I had been blinded by the Shadow of Holiness. Voices of judgment echoed around me, discussing my fate. One voice cried above the others for silence. I was about to speak when the face of a woman, long dark hair and blue-green eyes, appeared above me.

She smiled at me, and I could hear a soothing voice inside my head telling me that I was in a safe place and could not be harmed here. I tried to move my arms, only to discover that they were tied down to the bed on which I lay. I strained my neck for a moment to glance at my hands, each of which was covered in bloodied white gauze. I looked further down to my feet. Judging from the similarities, I think it would be safe to surmise that someone had tried to crucify me. Perhaps I had myself. That would explain the restraints and nurses and doctors.

The nurse smiled at me sweetly. It was then that I realized that a tranquilizer had entered my bloodstream. I lost consciousness only to wake up moments later on a rooftop, with an ornate blade in my hand. Blood was pouring from my back in rivulets that dripped down my body onto the ground. I was again losing consciousness.

I staggered to the edge of the building where I stopped for a moment to look at the moon. My vision began to fade as I lost feeling in my legs. When I leaned on the edge of the building, I couldn’t keep my balance.

I plummeted blindly to the earth. As I fell, I could feel the air rush against my body, which began to get warm. Within seconds I could hear the flames licking my skin and I could smell my flesh burning. My impact with soft earth smothered the fire that had begun to eat me. I lay my head against a rock, and with the roots of a tree as a blanket, I fell asleep.

My body was watched over by the spirits that were part of the planet. I slept for so long it was believed that I was dead. After what felt like an eternity, the roots around me parted, finished the repairs on my mortal body. I opened my eyes only to see that I was again within the asylum.

I had been locked into a dark room. Above me there was no ceiling, only a dark sky that was empty of stars. I was lying on a bed and, though I was not restrained this time, I couldn’t move any part of my body. I closed my eyes again.

What happened next was not a dream. And I am sure that I am still alive somewhere, not dead as destiny seems to promise.