Doctor : No, I don’t. There was a problem with the recording equipment. For some reason, the whole audio record of the session is a blank recording. No white noise, even. The entire record is blank, as if the microphones had been disconnected. Our technical staff can’t find the problem. And they assure us that no one could have unplugged the microphones, since they are embedded in the wall.

Patient : Sounds like a mystery.

Doctor : So, I thought maybe you could tell me what happened.

Patient : Didn’t Doctor Kayla already tell you?

Doctor : Of course she did. But I want to know your point of view.

Patient : Well, since you seem to be interested in the whole story, why don’t you summarize what she told you. If there are things to add...

Doctor : Alright, then. First let me say that you willingly attended the session.

Patient : With a little persuasion from you.

Doctor : Well, the orderlies didn’t have to drag you in here, anyway. After that, Doctor Kayla asked you to lay down on the therapy sofa in the corner. You warned her that Joseph did not want to go through the exorcism. So, despite any of her efforts, she was unlikely to be successful.

Patient : She was very insistent that no one actually wants a demon to live inside them.

Doctor : Well, no normal person, anyway.

Patient : And we both know that Joseph is not normal.

Doctor : It was at that point she began to conduct a full exorcism. She followed the standard 1965 exorcism as issued by the Second Vatican Council. It is the most commonly applied rite of exorcism.

Patient : Yes, the revised versions are not nearly as effective. Although you must note that she followed the rite without the presence of anyone else. This is worth noting because it is a bit unusual.

Doctor : Is it?

Patient : Yes. Usually there are other Christians present, although usually it is limited to the immediate family.

Doctor : It’s not required to have laity present, is it?

Patient : It’s not required, no. But it is the norm.

Doctor : I’m told that during the exorcism, your body gave very little physical response. You had a few jerky movements but nothing serious.

Patient : You were expecting twisted contortions of the body like in the movies?

Doctor : Honestly? Yes.

Patient : Well, theatrics can be entertaining in a horror movie but real life is different. Your patients are not as glamorous and interesting as the cases we see in movies and on television.

Doctor : That’s true... After the exorcism, Doctor Kayla interviewed you and was satisfied that it had been successful. She decided to let you rest. She left the room, telling the orderly to leave you alone for about twenty or thirty minutes. This he did and you were alert and on your feet in time for lunch.

Patient : And a delicious lunch it was too. Pasta is always such a treat around here.

Doctor : Well, there’s very little to choke on or choke with in overcooked noodles. Did I miss anything?

Patient : That sounds like everything that happened. Will Doctor Kayla come here again?

Doctor : No, I don’t think so. She asked me to write a status report on your progress by e-mail once a week for the next few months. I suppose she wants to keep her file on you up-to-date.

Patient : A file...

Doctor : Standard procedure, you know. Of course, she doesn’t automatically have access to your entire medical history. She receives only what I choose to give her. But in allowing her access to you, I agreed to give her any information relevant to her research.

Patient : Quid pro quo. Of course. What kind of research?

Doctor : I think she mentioned something about there being side-effects of exorcism.

Patient : Side-effects?

Doctor : She said that in some cases, the exorcism has been known to reinforce the monomania. In these cases, the patient believes that the demon has taken up permanent residence. Due to the patient’s unwillingness to cast out the demon, the original personality of the patient...

Patient : For example, Joseph...

Doctor : Yes, for example, Joseph... the original personality would be completely lost.

Patient : Ah. A successful exorcism but the wrong target.

Doctor : So to speak, yes.

Patient : Do you agree with her theory?

Doctor : Well, it makes some sense although I must express my doubt that anyone’s personality can be so easily destroyed. Despite my willingness to participate in this venture, I’m not sure I even agree with her underlying position. She, like most believers of Dissociative Identity Disorder, believe multiple personalities are distinct and separate personalities occupying the same mind. She believes that most demoniacs have simply succeeded in re-associating the personalities. Because the personalities are linked and both believe in demonic possession, an exorcism will either subdue the demonic personality or make it irreversibly dominant.

Patient : Ah. And what is it that you don’t agree with?

Doctor : I don’t believe that Dissociative Identity Disorder is a legitimate field of psychology. In my opinion, multiple personalities are side-effects of bad therapy. In any case, her idea that an exorcism would result in one personality appealed to me. You’ve been a difficult case for me and any change might be an improvement.

Patient : So you think her technique worked?

Doctor : It’s hard to say. I’m not convinced you’re any better or worse than you were last month. But at least you’ve stopped talking about yourself in the plural.

Patient : It’s a hard habit to break.

Doctor : So, let’s out with it and I’ll ask you directly. Do you think you’ve improved?

Patient : What do you mean?

Doctor : Has Legion has been exorcised?

Patient : No.

Doctor : Oh. How about Joseph?

Patient : There is no Joseph anymore. He’s gone away. It’s just us in here now.