Affidavit of Nathaniel Richard

My name is Nathaniel Dean Richard. I am 45 years old and I am an inmate of Walpole State Prison, Massachusetts. In 1959, I was a young man of 20 and newly-married to a beautiful woman. I thought my life was going well when I caught my friend committing adultery with my wife. In anger and jealousy, I killed them both with a shotgun. Within weeks, I was convicted of my crimes and given two life-sentences. At first, I cursed my former friend and wife. Later, I cursed God for my circumstances and punishment. I hated the wardens and my fellow prisoners, all of whom scorned me as a murderer and a sinner. I hated myself and everyone around me.

Then I met Father James Cullen, who neither feared me nor judged me. The first time we met, I tried to scare him by reminding him I had killed two people. He answered with these words, “We have all murdered an innocent man. I am as guilty as you are.” At the time I did not realize he was talking about Our Lord but I was impressed that he was not afraid of me. So, I began to visit him in his little chapel. At first, I came to him out of boredom. I thought I could scare him or at least annoy him. Later, I think, I wanted his attention, his forgiveness. He befriended me and prayed for me despite my cold heart. And, as time wore on, he brought me closer and closer to God. Then, in 1968, as he lay dying on the floor of the prison chapel, he spoke his last words to me. I remember them as if he had whispered them to me yesterday. “Forgive me,” he said, “as I forgave you.”

I remember my feelings in the months that followed, like there was a terrible absence in my life. Those words burned into my heart and filled me with self-doubt. I was involved in many fights and conflicts within the prison. Finally, after a particularly violent confrontation with a fellow prisoner, I was badly beaten by the guards and put into solitary confinement. For a week I was given nothing but bread and water. In my despair, I cried out to God for mercy and it felt as if the Holy Spirit itself came to me and held my hand. And when I came out of that cell, I felt peaceful. For the next twenty years, I prayed and I studied the Word of God, with the assistance of Father Daniel Quinn, who also had known Father Cullen.

In the fall of 1980, I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I had likely carried the cancer in my body for many years. The cancer was in such a late stage that I should have already been dead. Doctor Park, who works for the Massachusetts Department of Corrections, was merciful in informing me that I would be lucky to survive even a few months. She continued to track the progress of the cancer with regular appointments for the next few years. This was much longer that she had expected, since the cancer did not appear to be developing any further. Just before Christmas of 1983, she announced to me that the cancer appeared to be gone.

During the time period of 1980 to 1983, I said many prayers to Father James Cullen to intercede on my behalf. I said the holy rosary and meditated in my cell for countless hours. My fellow prisoners now call me “Monk” because I am almost constantly in prayer within the walls of my cell or the chapel. They do not know as I do, that a miracle has been performed within my body, thanks to my former teacher, who I believe still watches over me.

Nathaniel Richard
June 1, 1984