If I had never left, I suppose I would be dead somewhere... I almost feel that way now... Leaving behind the few securities I had has reminded me of how easily I did it before... But there is no hate driving me this time, only a newfound sense of self-love... I will overcome these obstacles carefully and honestly... I have already proven my genius to myself, in a small and self-serving way... These moments of tears and pains are not forever... I came here to find her... and through her, myself... what I find within is dark and cold... the light has already begun to burn it clean... the apocalypse is here and I feel the disintegration of the world as my life is bit-by-bit ripped apart and re-stitched...